My Problem With Interracial Dating Pt. 1
Let me say from the beginning, to each his/her own. This is simply my opinion and I’m sticking to it. Second let me say as far as this post goes, I am a strong believer that “appearance isn’t everything.” but I do acknowledge that it is a huge factor in most cases.
Personally I can say that I will never find myself in an interracial relationship. It’s not something I’m looking for nor anything I’m attracted to. I’m attracted to Black men. Pure and simple. Mixed Black men, I can’t even say that I’ve ever even looked at them twice, not if I knew they were mixed. I do think it boils down to a preference in some cases but I think those come few and far in between.
One of my biggest problems with interracial dating is the standards that are set. I don’t have any scientific research just my own eyes and perception. But for all the Black men that I have known or really come in contact with for that matter, that have had a partner that is not Black, that woman/girl has been a stark contrast to what is considered a respectable or acceptable good woman Black woman for a Black man.
Some of this may seem superficial but it is the truth. The white/hispanic/asian/indian etc. women that you see most Black men with are not the same equivalence of what a Black man expects out of a Black woman. It’s as if they’ll pick the most homely looking chic who if their skin were the shade of mine, the Black men wouldn’t even look twice at her. To me it seems that Black men expect Black women to have this standard of having their hair done at the beauty salon weekly, a pedicure, a manicure, dress to a certain standard, have clear skin, be small in body size, bright white teeth, small feet, a round nose, long hair, and damn near fair skin…no brown/black ladies allowed.
These are the women that Black men in interracial relationships wouldn’t even look twice at. But now be it a white chick or a hispanic chic, they can be fat/skinny, short hair, long hair, no teeth, wear whatever they damn well please, dirty nails, chipped nails and as homely as they come. And they love em like it’s their mama’s breast they are suckling on from infant stage. They gaze at her like she’s the best thing since sliced bread, but for those thick brown/black sisters they can’t imagine loving on her, especially since she doesn’t have long “flowing” hair and all.
I’m serious Black men would choose these two women
Over these two women
What happened to Black men being taught that Black is beautiful? When did it become the norm to forget that your mama is Black, your grandmother is Black and that well heck you’re Black as well. I personally know that I don’t want a man that is in an interracial relationship, because I already know that if he were single we would clash heads of what’s acceptable as far as race relations go. So you can save that comment. I don’t want these womens men. I don’t even care to change them, but I do what the Black men in my life to think about the Black women that should become their wives and the mother of their Black children.
It bothers me that so many Black men fail to see good Black women and yet skip over to another race because of their own insecurities or faults. Do I think that Black men in interracial relationships are weak? I do. Too often do I hear their theories on why Black women just can’t “behave” or don’t “support their men”. Those are weak minded individuals talking. Thinking clearly too much on what the Black woman has to offer and what he has to gain rather than inserting self in the the possible equation of what equals problems in relationships. All women can come with the prospect of the same B.S that stems across all racial divides that for sure.
But I believe these men are caught up in what other races of women have and what Black women don’t. Most of us don’t have long flowing hair, heck I got a cut on my hair that would rival any man’s fade, but it’s still doesn’t take away from my femininity. I’m hygienic, I take good care of my body and I’m a supportive of whom ever I’m in a relationship with. But this isn’t about me. It’s about the “bruthas” who fail to be strong Black men and love a strong Black woman.
No longer do we see as many married Black men and women having little Black babies. Now too many are concerned with little “good hair” “fair skinned” babies, and that is just more B.S. But that’s another post.
In closing, I feel that even thought it may be all over the place (this is why I’m a blogger with a background in journalism) these are my scattered thoughts. Not looking to change the world, but I am going to have my voice heard. I love Black people. I support Black people. And I’m proud to be Black.
I just wish more of us felt that way, and didn’t have to reach so far from home to get a little taste of the other pie, because Black women have been dishing up some good pie for centuries,(some) Black mens taste buds just can’t appreciate it.
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This is hilarious. This is why, on the surface, my boyfriend and I broke up. I’m a single mom, I’m in college full time and I’m in the process of applying to law schools. I’ve never looked bad for him. Though I’ve never been to the hair salon on a regular basis my hair was always kept nice and I dressed nice. He was mad at me because I didnt go to the hair salon or get my nails done. I would have thought being a responsible parent and being financially responsible would have garnered more respect.
What would I look like spending $70 at the beauty salon and another $25 or $30 getting my nails done when I stress over filling up my gas tank? I have to spend $130 a month on gas because of my long commute. It would have been different if I looked a mess but since I never did I just couldnt accept such an “issue” as the most important thing we needed to deal with.
Amen! And there are plenty of WHITE men who choose white women who are missing their teeth, fat, don’t care how they dress along with those who do choose women who go to the salon every week. I do not. Can’t afford it and even if I could I would not even consider going out with someone, who above all else, thought it more important that I polish my nails or have my hair done on a weekly basis than what I am like inside, not out. Black is beautiful, white is beautiful, but it doesn’t mean shit, to be blunt, if you are as superficial on the inside as you are on the outside. Priorities and confidence in oneself, no matter what you look like, which is probably what attracted men to those women in the first place, are what get you want you want. I have seen women in my life that have so much confidence in themselves, even if missing teeth or fat that date more than a beautiful women that has no confidence in herself. My best friend being one, a beautiful, beautiful girl, looks like a swedish model, but she was shy at times and guys didn’t ask her out. She agonized over it. I also think that some men were afraid to ask her out, confidence on their part was lacking. Anyway…I am also older now, almost 50, some things it takes you a while to learn, what is important and what is not. I stopped wearing makeup, I am allergic, tired of swollen eyes, and yes, have tried hypoallergenic, didn’t work and costs too much money for tests and too much money to keep switching makeup to try and find the cause. On the upside, even at almost 50 I still have rosey cheeks and a glint in my blue eyes, ain’t dead yet.
Sorry, I also noticed something about your picture for this post, you put a picture of a young beautiful black girl with an old wrinkled white man??????? What does that say?
I’m sorry, don’t mean to keep adding comments, just wanted to say I hope you don’t mind if I link your blog to my two blogs!
90% of black men date and love black women. The interracial thing isn’t that big of an issue. Stop reading essence and go outside.
As a white guy, this is my opinion:
If a black man picks a fat, short haired white girl over a fat, shorted haired black girl, there must be something at work more than just skin color. I would suggest the reason is that there is something which he doesn’t get from the white girl, and that is “black women attitude”. I can’t really define what “attitude” is, but I can describe it: Stick your right arm out and point your index finger straight up and wiggle it side to side. At the same time shake your head side to side and say something like: “Nuh uh, I ain’t gonna put up with none of that sh*t.” Not that white girls don’t have the same thoughts at times, its just that they don’t display them in the same confrontational manner. For some black men, it must be refreshing to go out with someone who is not constantly thinking, “what the hell is wrong with you, boy?”
well, why do some people think all black women are these confrontational, bossy negative people? that’s not the case for soo many black women i know who are actually funny, smart positive and giving, yet this label seems to stick. because it is what society wants us to believe, just like all black guys are pimps,uncultured thugs, dead beat dads and closet homosexuals right?
we should really think about these things and consider that alot of people don’t want black men and women to foster loving relationships, and we are playing right into their hands.
Latisha let me just start off by saying your blog is great, and I do totally agree with you. Second, Chris you are a total idiot. You must also believe all black women give “good” sex too correct? Or that all black women are on welfare, or that we all look like gorillas? I do not believe you are a white man, but that is my opinion. People like you do come up with the same tired excuses of why black women are undatable. Nat I agree with you as well when it comes to no one wanting to see black relationships flourish. Whites, asians, hispanics, etc love seeing us hate each other. It means more black men for non-black women, and black women ending up alone which also makes people happy to see. What is sad, is that there are far more black men who hate black women than love black women. And in return those same black women end up hating black men too. Black people have our own problems. To add in interracial dating only confuses us and keeps us off track. It causes people like Chris to comment on something that really has nothing to do with him. Same with bedeboop. The way Latisha wrote this was just as if I had wrote it, because I feel exactly as she does. What she did not touch on is that people in general love to see the stereotypical black woman. They don’t want to see us feminine, or happy. They want to see us angry, not married, frustrated, sick, oversexualized, and unwed mothers. This is what people like to see about us. Truth is, white women will always be told by their own men how beautiful and superior they are. Other non-black women have that same affirmation to look forward to from their own group of men. As for black women, we will always be told by EVERYONE how undesirable and worthless we are. Trust me, it is going to get worse. I predict that very soon black people will kill themselves off. I know this is horrible to say, but I do believe it would probably be better if we never even existed sometimes. We are the most screwed up ethnic group on the planet, and we refuse to love each other unconditionally. One thing we do love though is tearing each other apart.
Eh…sounds like your issues with interracial relationships is all bound up in the superficialities of life(physical appearance). I see black men in relationships with to’ up white women, but I don’t care because the black men are BUMS! So why would I be angry when I don’t even want them? My brother’s raggedy homeless friend has a white gf and he dogs her out to my brother and his other friends all the time, yet she’s the one taking care of him. To me, the black men who date to’ up white women are losers and can’t get a black woman because they’re triflin. But I agree with “Dear sista”–the media is blowing this all out of proportion because I still see TONS of black men with black women–skinny, fat, in-between, attractive and unattractive, and growing up I’d never seen interracial dating in middle and high school.
Also: If IR relationships put bm/bw relationships in peril, where are all these black babies coming from?
Just have to say, I do need to read the full article, but I was stopped by the remark about babies only having beautiful eyes as long as they are not brown!??!???!?!?!? Mine are blue….but I think the baby that came in yesterday at work, who was absolutely gorgeous, 11 months old and full of mischief which shone in his BROWN eyes would be greatly hurt by remarks such as that and for those who believe such dribble, they are not worth listening to. Why do you?. Does not a remark like the only perpetuate beliefs such as yours? Or anyone else’s similar beliefs. It reminds me of when my best friends little girl, brown eyes also, was burned at 16 months old over 65 percent of her body. Her father thought that rather than her living she should have died, cuz in his words, “What am I going to tell her when boys don’t ask her out, she may as well be dead?” I was appalled, especially after losing my only child approximately 2 years prior to this incident. I was livid and told him so. She is beautiful, many surgeries, lots of jobs outfits and other issues, but pregnant, in love and doing fantastic. Thank the lord her mom was a more positive influence (yes, they were divorced within a few years) than her father.
What a heart stopper remarks like that can be.
Blackromancereader, a lot of those “black babies” usually come from broken homes. A lot of black women, especially the young ones are having kids without demanding there be a ring on their finger before intercourse. Sure there are SOME black men still with black women, but black men still date outside our ethnic group more than black women do. So I can’t agree that the majority are still with black women, when it is evident that there are more black women in homes where they are head of household. I am sorry but I stand by my opinion that black love is indeed dying. Black love is not when a man dates a woman for a while, tells her exactly what she wants to hear, has sex with her, then when she is pregnant the man leaves her to repeat the same behavior with another. This is not black love, yet this is the kind of “love” we see often in black communities. The black family structure is damaged, because we have men and women who believe in shacking up but not walking down the aisle. There are men out there who see no problem with creating multiple children with multiple women and not being responsible for them. There are women out there who will do whatever they have to so they can keep their men around, even if that means losing themselves in the process. It is more complicated than what meets the eye. The issues in our communities are so deep that it seems no solution will rid us of them. I do not care either what black men do, but it is a shame that we are the only ethnic group in america that just cannot seem to get it together. I’m of the assumption that black people have no problem with the idea that if we keep up this negative cycle, we just may not be here much longer.
Why on earth would anyone want all black women to be alone???? Or not see you happy and feminine? If you don’t mind me saying so, what a crock of shit and how stereotypical IS YOUR RESPONSE? Very. Get past it and get a grip. And while it may have nothing to do with me personally, which I think it does, and with every person on earth, it was posted here for all to see, and if comments are not welcome, don’t have to read them. It is a chance taken when posting thoughts online for all to see. I think objections to interracial dating or relationships are clearly racist and bigoted. Deal with it ladies.
“This is what people like to see about us. Truth is, white women will always be told by their own men how beautiful and superior they are. Other non-black women have that same affirmation to look forward to from their own group of men. As for black women, we will always be told by EVERYONE how undesirable and worthless we are.”
I just really cannot get over the above statement.
1. Stereotypical
2. Racist
3. Sound like the white bozos walking around, only difference is your color of skin, but may as well be twins standing there saying this crap.
4. Are you speaking of the media? And if so, then that is a problem, need to read more and get out more.
C”mon white women, do your men tell you every day how beautiful and superior you are? Do you really, really want to be that skinny model (some of whom I do NOT think are beautiful, period). up on the screen? ICK.
5. If nothing else, you should be telling every black female how beautiful they are, cuz everyone is, no matter what color they are. Stop listening to the media for pete’s sake and stop taking them so seriously.
“t causes people like Chris to comment on something that really has nothing to do with him. Same with bedeboop. ”
It occurred to me after I replied above and had left work to ask the poster of the quote above, why does this have nothing to do with me? Because I am white? It only interests black people and you have a monopoly on what can be said about interacial relationships and blacks are the only ones who should be concerned, if you should be at all. Actually, who people date and what color they might be is NO ONE’S business, period. Not mine and not yours. It is just that, personal.
Please explain to me why it has something to do with YOU.
Are you serious? Did you even proof-read the mess you typed? Am I supposed to be in awe that you somehow called me out to prove your naive points? Honestly, people like you annoy the hell out of me and I could not even stand to listen to someone like you in person bedeboop. The factors that can cause black people in general to be damaged are numerous. I nowhere in my posts stated anything about the media, but I still stand by my previous comments 100%. I also did not state anything about hating anyone carrying a certain hue in their epidermis, nor did I state anything that made me racist. How about you actually read next time, comprehend, and then understand that not everyone sees the world as you do. My experiences in life will be totally different from yours, and to never assume that I do not do anything to uplift my people. I know black women are not inferior, but there are hundreds more who feel they are. They are even thousands more who feel all black people are still not human, even though we all have the same internal organs (initally), bleed red (hopefully), and can share intelligent thoughts in anyway we so choose. I love my people and I always will, but what I do not love is the way many are in mental bondage. Oustide influences while they often times may inspire someone, they usually cause confusion and more chaos. We need to unite and work out our differences first, before we start trying to be a rainbow coalition *rolls eyes*. Still that is your opinion of me, and mine of you so we will agree to disagree.
Yes, dead serious.
I never said YOU said anything about the media, you need to reread some yourself, I clearly asked you if you WERE SPEAKING OF THE MEDIA. A question. You made statements that I would have liked you to explain, such as “As for black women, we will always be told by EVERYONE how undesirable and worthless we are.” Hence, my question about the media. Please read my post better
Another statement by you, “Whites, asians, hispanics, etc love seeing us hate each other. It means more black men for non-black women, and black women ending up alone which also makes people happy to see.”
Please tell me, how is this not based in any way on my own life? How more so on yours? Where do you read this or have it told to you? Where is the rule written? Who has told you that we all love seeing you hate each other? I have never heard those words come out of any asian, mexican or white person’s mouth. I have lived all over the US and Europe. So please, enlighten me with YOUR generalization and stereotyping. I would love it. (Media again?)
And people like you annoy the hell out of me. I know your experience is different than mine, but that does not make your opinion, which is all it is, as mine, any more valid than mine. My experiences differ from yours, does that make either of us any better or more HURT than the other and everyone, no matter what their color? I do not believe anyone can lay claim to being “hurt” more. Silly and juvenile. No. Nor did I say, anywhere in my post, that you do not uplift your people. Please quote me on that. And yes, I feel, and don’t care if you don’t like it, as you say, we can disagree, part of anything getting better anywhere starts with talking, but I think and feel your remarks are racist, they generalize and are very heavy in stereotyping. Speaking your mind is great, speaking your opinion is great, but so far have not heard or seen anything written that is other than based on personal experience.
As for awe, no, I only called out what you said, please do not try to turn the tables on me for what you have stated in your post in your own words. Please read them, your words, as if a white person wrote them, and then tell me they are not racist?
Sorry, this part above, “do not believe anyone can lay claim to being “hurt” more. Silly and juvenile. No. Nor did I say, anywhere in my post, that you do not uplift your people. Please quote me on that. And yes, I feel, and don’t care if you don’t like it, as you say, we can disagree, part of anything getting better anywhere starts with talking, but I think and feel your remarks are racist, they generalize and are very heavy in stereotyping.”
Should read: “do not believe anyone can lay claim to being “hurt” more. Silly and juvenile. Nor did I say, anywhere in my post, that you do not uplift your people. Please quote me on that. And yes, I feel, and don’t care if you don’t like it, as you say we can disagree, part of anything getting better anywhere starts with talking. But I think and feel your remarks are racist, they generalize and are very heavy with stereotyping.”
In a hurry, sorry.
I have to confess, after waking up this morning I remembered two incidents when I was younger, one in my teens, the other in my twenties, that would not make any black person, neither incident was directed towards black women, but black men and I think then, only cuz they are black, so it would not have mattered if you were male or female. 1 involved a funeral, and the other a function in the state of MA. The funeral, was in the 70’s and blacks asked permission to attend the funeral, this amazed me, had never heard of it before. The other was a public function and one that I was not chosen to attend, but when the male blacks came back they pretty much told me that on the next occassion, which would be in a year, that I was going, they were not. When I asked why I was told it was because I was blonde and blue-eyed and because they were pretty much told, even while wearing the uniform of the armed services, that they were not welcome, this was in the early 80’s. I had forgotten them. So, to be honest and forthright, I would have to put those out here as incidents which directly effected people of color and not through the media, but in their face. Which is deplorable.
That said, II still feel that generalizing, cuz I would be generalizing and stereotyping if I said all would treat everyone like that, is wrong. I don’t care what the reason or cause, it is still wrong, no matter who does it.
B.
Not awake yet, the above should say that the incidents would not make any black person feel beautiful, or welcome or a part of society that has things to learn from or teach.
You can continue to take issue with my posts, but I believe I have made myself quite clear. Dr. Kamau Kambon believes white people should be exterminated, am I with him? No. White people who join stormfront.org strongly believe in racial purity, and that blacks are not even human. Am I also with them? No. I don’t believe in killing, raping (people or land’s resources), or erasing the history of any group of people especially people of color. That is not the type of person I am. I do strongly believe that racism has strongly affected those not white in america, moreso than it has affected whites in america. I strongly believe colonization of africa has caused many of the problems we see today. I strongly believe that colorism (explains the caste systems we see world-wide) and sexism have also caused problems as well. These are the issues I think about all the time, because I am forced to realize that they exist. I think about Hiv-Aids mostly affecting black and hispanic women greatly, the high birth of children being born out of wedlock in black communities, the hate black people have for each other, the colorism a lot of black people practice in black communities, why statistics like “70%” of black women are even published, why is it little black babies still believe white is better than black, and that black is dirty or ugly (the doll test performed in a film by Kiri davis titled A Girl Like Me). This colorism issue is evident all over the world, especially since I always read on how african and Indian women are bleaching their skin to appear more attractive. This is why it is bigger than the media. To destroy a group of people you have to destroy the mindset of that people. This is what is happening now, and this is why I respond the way I do. I am not concerned with people who have never experienced what I have went through. I am more concerned with those who know what I’m talking about, and how we can change the negative thinking in so many black communities. Black is not dirty, evil, or inferior yet a lot of black adults and children believe it is. Light skin is not better than dark skin yet a lot of black people believe it is. Biracial people are not the only best looking people on the planet, yet in black communities that belief holds true for many. These are issues I want to fight, which is why I stated in a earlier post that I do not care what black men do. I also never stated anything about not liking interracial relationships. I still believe we need to fix our own problems, before we start trying to include other non-black people in anything. I am pro-black. I am all for black love. We don’t have enough of that in our communities. I am all for uplifiting my people anyway I can. I do not wish to debate how I feel with anyone, because that proves pointless. I know what I believe in and I will stand by those beliefs until the day I die. You do not have to understand me, like me or my opinons, but all that matters is that I do. And there are plenty more black people like me who are pro-black, and will fight for what they believe in. So again lady, lets agree to disagree because I am not going to go back and forth with you to “prove” anything. You have your opinion of me, and I of you. Lets just keep it that way. Peace.
The fact that there are still so many people out there who are against mixed-race couples saddens me greatly. Usually when we think of racism, thoughts of slavery, anti-Semitism and the abuse of American Indians come to mind. However, there is just as much of a racist attitude involved with people who believe that, while there is no superiority involved in the races, they should not intermingle, make vows before God and men, marry, and have children. I am thankfully that our country officially rejected this philosophy when it abolished the Jim Crow laws in the South. However, I am deeply sadden by individuals, including some whom profess to hold Christ-like values, maintain this attitude of bigotry. These comments reflect a racist mind.
The problems that people have with interracial relationships are in no way biblically justifiable. One of the most widely quoted objections to interracial marriage is found in Deuteronomy 7. In this chapter, God lays down the law for Moses. When talking about the Promised Land, God lists all of the groups who live there (the Hittites, Amorites, Canaanites, and so on) and says that the Israelites are not to marry any of them.
“Do not intermarry with them. Do not give your daughters to their sons or take their daughters for your sons, for they will turn your sons away from following me to serve other gods, and the Lord’s anger will burn against you and will quickly destroy you (vv.3-4, NIV).”
Let’s take note. God did not say, “Do not intermarry with them because their shade of melanin differs from yours.” He said not to marry them because they worshipped other gods. The Lord was protecting the Israelites from false religions, not different races. This passage is specifically talking about marrying people who did not serve Yahweh.
There are quite a few examples of intermarrying in the Bible. In Numbers 12, Moses, himself, married a woman from Cush, which is modern-day Ethiopia. Aaron and Miriam, Moses’ brother and sister, didn’t approve of the marriage, and because of their complaints God struck Miriam with leprosy (she changed her mind about the situation pretty quickly). Ruth, who is named in the lineage of Jesus, was a Moabitess, not an Israelite (Ruth 1). Rahab was a prostitute and a Canaanite, and she was also named in Jesus’ lineage and mentioned as a great woman of faith in the book of Hebrews (Joshua 2, Matthew 1, and Hebrews 11). Both of these women recognized the Lord as the one true God, and he used their bloodlines to bring Jesus into the world.
The sins that often entangle Christians who oppose interracial relationships are pride and worry.
Although there aren’t Bible verses forbidding interracial relationships, there are verses declaring our equality and unity in Christ. One of the most obvious is Galatians 3:28, “There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”
If people genuinely have a Christian worldview, there is no justification for racial discrimination of any kind. Christianity claims that all humans have descended from Adam and Eve, the first two people. “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them” (Genesis 1:27). Catch that? All humans have been created in the image of God. All of them. If we have all been created in God’s image, if He knits each of us together in the womb, if we are all human beings, then there is no justification for resisting interracial unions.
Are interracial relationships more difficult? Are there more challenges to overcome when people from different cultures get married? Will these mixed-race couples face prejudice from others? First of all, I know lots of people who have never faced extreme problems. Second, who cares?! God is STILL in control and if the person God has prepared for you happens to be of another race or culture to God be the GLORY.
what ever happen to preference now you sound like some black supremasist and i am black but dont care about race cause as far as i am concern all it ever done is keeping 2 ppl who have true love for each other appart for what a color just a color well i say f*** it well if it means dating a white hispanic asian or what ever to find happyness so be it and i think as a child growing up our mother teach us to love our black women meaning not to disrespect them but doesnt mean you cant bring any other race home so i think you should stop questioning ppl’s preferrence and dont get caught up in pride because its nothing but a way of keeping to do what their really want ihave respect for black women but that doesnt mean i have to date them so go on with ur life and leave those who made that decision alone
Ricardo, maybe you need to calm down dude. Also, if people were open-minded then why do they need to have a preference for a certain type of person they are attracted to? Can you not see the contradiction in that? I cannot say that I am open-minded, yet say I prefer only black men. That is hypocritical and it makes me look like a liar. To me, if you have a preference then that means you are closed-minded. That is me in a nutshell, because I have absolutely no desire to date any man that is not black. I do have a preference, but I am not open-minded to “exploring” my options of other men out there. While I do not hate interracial relationships I just wish people would realize they are not for me, period. If you have an issue with that then I can’t help you. Sorry but it is what it is.
Personally, I think that everyone who is sitting on here arguing, isn’t in a relationship just because of that. If you people spent half the time thinking about who people are on the inside as you do about what black men and women “want” then you’d be with someone you are happy with. Love is love it isn’t color. If someone chooses not to be with you because of your color, then you can do better than them, if you are above that. If not then you will be miserable trying to find the perfect color person.
You know, I am in an interracial relationship with a guy outside of my race. oh,,,, guys, you can not image what I have met. I am a black cuttie girl and I just met my love half year ago and we will get married next month, and interracial love of course. Am I lucky? So lucky I think, and I wanna share my happiness with all of you here.
By the way, I found my half part baby on a great interracialchats site. He is really gorgeous, even sometimes he is a little shy. -
If you try InterracialMatch.com, you also can be the next lucky one. LOL. Bye!! and good luck to you all.
This is ABSOLUTELY ridiculous and un-true. I’m a black girly and I get approached by every race (Asian, Latino, White, Indian/ Arabian, and even black) everyday! lol. Maybe it depends on your age/ location/ looks… I am 17 years old, living in NYC, and very exotic looking: chocolate brown skin with features just like Tyra Banks. And Asian, Latino, White, and Arabian/ Indian men LOVE black women - they find us extremely sexy/ exotic. They love our chocolate skin tones simply because chocolate skin is the most exotic skin color - it stands out from a crowd of Asian, Latino, White, and Arabian/ Indian women! So black women/ girls - don’t pay attention to black men… we are desired by 5 other races! =] And if you’ll just allow yourself to break free and date interracial you’ll find out how desired/ exotic you are to other races. I’ve been apporached by several Norwegian men! They absolutely love black girls, and are very attractive also - many of Norwegian men resemble Brad Pitt =] Actually, I’m about to go out on a date with an Norwegian male friend - I love going out with him and seeing the reactions on black guys faces (they know they will never look so sexy!) lol =D
Chow!
Oh, I forgot to add - MANY of us also have the best body shapes around!
Also, this is a very sad/ negative part of black womens history… but we were HIGHLY desired by white men during slavery times also. They cheated on their wives and had sex with the black female slaves out of desire/ lust. Why do you think there are light skin blacks? … lol :\
wow, i stumbled up on this site somehow…and all of you (besides chris.) make verrrrrry good arguments…but on a hole, i just think it’s a shame that in 2007, we’re all so caught up on race still. silly me, i didn’t even realize people were actually still racist and had these very thoughts until i was 21(last year) and starting poking around on websites like craigslist and random blogs(outside of xanga of course). it’s shocking. and no, i wasn’t brought up sheltered from everything…i just thought people were now smarter than that. i never had a problem with the color of my skin, i’m pretty and i know that, even if i could change my skin tone, i would never.
i never had to think twice about the color of a man’s skin. it was seriously all based on if we had things in common or not and if he could make me laugh. i honestly never noticed skin tone before. and it’s a shock to think that now, no matter what i do, someone might be judging and hating me for it. it really consumes my every thought-i’m constantly worried if i go out with him, will people judge me? is she really that nice? or is she racist. and i do believe racism goes more than one way. i really think the few narrow-minded adults who push this sh– into the younger generations head, do not realize the damage they can do. maybe i should be stronger and stand up against that, but some thoughts you just cannot get out of your head no matter how hard you try. i want to go back to believeing that people are good, no matter the color, no matter the race, no matter who they date. but one thing that does bug me about these things you read, when white men chose to date black/spanish/asian women for whatever their reason, they don’t put white women down. neither do latin or asian men. but black men will degrade the —- out of black women. there is a slight difference there. but i think, maybe, if we could get past all the chit-chat and the negative comments from the other side, maybe then we’d be okay….it’s sad how this stuff never bothered me before, now it’s all that’s in my head when a guy’s talking to me….what diana said, i agree with 100%. she hit the nail on the head. exactly. i’ve never had a problem meeting anybody.sure i have my phases, where one day i’m craving asian or black the next latin or m.e…. pref. comes with a narrow-minded view of everything. so i am trying my damnest not to let the things i read and see get me down. if you look @ someone and decide you simply DON’T like him b/c he/she is whatever race but you would if they were another…that’s simply a form of racism. but this is a hard-topic to even put into words, because really, it just shouldn’t exist. i wish we didn’t care, but we do…oh well..i love this article and i found it so interesting and it hit a few marks.
valerie
Latisha,
I must say that you are a very opinionated person and I commend that. It’s better to have an opinion than not at all, right?
First, let me start by saying that I am currently in an interracial relationship. I am Vietnamese and he is Black. Tomorrow is our one year anniversary and he and I could not be any happier. Superficiality will fade over time and if that’s the case, we wouldn’t be together this long. With that being said, I love him for who he is and not by the color of his skin or the “stereotypical characteristics” that he possesses. I do not see him as an experiment nor do I think of him as a trophy boyfriend. I see him as my equal who I love and who loves me back.
He and I are both 23 years old and have known each other since 7th grade! It’s not uncommon that friendships blossom into relationships. If you are to tell me that I am “a stark contrast to what is considered a respectable or acceptable good woman Black woman for a Black man,” you cannot be further from the truth. I have just graduated from the University of South Florida with a Bachelors in Gerontology and am on my way to getting my Master’s. I was Vice President for a student-run organization on campus and have done well to foster relationships between diverse students, not just solely black, solely white, or solely asian. He is graduating from the same university with a degree in Computer Engineering and was a Regent for his Engineering fraternity.
As for your comment that the non-Black women “can be fat/skinny, short hair, long hair, no teeth, wear whatever they damn well please, dirty nails, chipped nails and as homely as they come” and the black man don’t care, mine does. But he doesn’t have to worry about that because I am not trailer trash. I consider myself put-together and attractive, especially when I go out on the town. There are times that I may slack off and look a little rugged at times, but doesn’t everyone?
I have always dated outside of my race and within my race. Did I do it to be curious as to which race is better? No. I am very proud of my nationality and would never think so shallow of my heritage. Did I do it to take away the black woman’s man? Definitely not. That means I would be losing out on many of the finest men in my race. I do it because I don’t feel that race is a factor for the attraction I have for others. Of course I have gone through HARSH criticism from family and the public, but my love for my bf is so much deeper than the world’s superficial drama. Let’s just say that my family does not approve of a “Blackanese” baby.
We can sit here all day and debate back and forth about which argument is more logical. But when it all comes down to it, if you stripped me and him bare and leave nothing for us to have, I will GUARANTEE you that we’d still be together because all we need is each other.
Sincerely,
Thao
oh yes. yet another black girl hating on the interracial issue. you see my dear, your whole message shows why your men go to white girls. just like you say all the white girls are nasty and unkempt we can say that the majority of black girls have VERY NEGATIVE ATTITUDES. i see that you also fit that. what does it matter if “black is beautiful” if the black girl has a bad attitude? what is wrong with them thinking WHITE is beautiful? i sense racism. are you upset because maybe black guys dont care so much about if your hair is done or your nails are done and more about your ATTITUDE? go back. read what you wrote. see the negativity and the closed mindedness. the ignorance. thats why the gravitate towards caucasian women. i on the other hand fit NONE of your stereotypes. im a very intelligent, clean, kempt, and proper girl. i turn heads on white guys, black guys, mexican and any other race because of the prim and proper way i carry myself. thats also why my BLACK boyfriend stands out. he is educated and also very proper. we both do not smoke, drink or use drugs. we use proper english. we dress professionally everywhere we go. we have so VERY much in common that skin color differences do not matter at all. your “cave man” thinking intrigues me. dont worry and try to tend to other peoples relationships honey. if you dont want to be in an interracial relationship then thats YOUR business and those who choose to be in interracial relationships, thats THEIR business. i have been with my boyfriend for 5 years. we have came across people who possess your type of ignorance and in a ay it makes us stronger. if it is jealousy you are harboring, let it go. if black girls dropped this kind of arrogance then they would see more af-am men desiring them. that my dear is truth in BLACK AND WHITE.
It’s a shame that the entire point of the message was missed. My BLACK boyfriend also is very much into my intelligence as well as my natural beauty. I too am intelligent, clean kept, and proper. And whether I turned heads or not my attitude does not lack in common respect and decency.
It’s not a matter of what I look like per se, and I know that I would only ever date a man who loves me for my mind not for what I look like. Majority of Black women DO NOT HAVE bad attitudes and my post does not reflect a bad attitude, yet a crisis within our community. Black men with Black mothers who hate Black women. It’s more to it than their misconceptions. My 10 year old brother and my 6 year old brother only want to be friends with white little girls. They already have a lack of love for their own culture and they have a mother, sisters, grandmothers, and aunts who are in their lives, yet they are misguided at white schools to what is beautiful and what is not.
Don’t get it twisted.
I read your post. Your site came up in a search for images of interracial relationships. I was amazed by how closed minded you sound in your post. How can you judge something that you haven’t ever been a part of? Im a black woman, in an interracial relationship with a great guy. What it really boils down to in any relationship is how well the two people involved in the relationship get along, understand each other and communicate their needs. This man that I am dating right now is the only boyfriend that I’ve ever had where I can say that we are truly best friends and not just lovers.
A “good man” isn’t a good man because of the color of his skin, but because of his actions. Being bitter doesn’t draw them to you either.
Rachel, please do mankind a huge favor and go off yourself. You just wasted more than a few minutes of your life telling us what you are like, why you’re black boyfriend is so “proper”, and why black men gravitate towards white women. In essence, I do dare say that none of us truly give a flying f*ck about you or your man. Nor do I care why black men run off with white women. These are the same black men who complain when black women date interracially. Again, your point love? You seriously do not have one. I saw no attitudes here, but I did see a lot of honesty besides your post. You wreak of low self-esteem, hence why you have to come on a blog and post your shitty two cents talking down to black women. You are not God, so please do not act as if your shit does not stink. In fact it does, and the smell is not so good. Who are you Rachel to judge anyone on their behavior when you are no angel yourself? If you have ever lied, if you fornicate, if you are full of envy, have too much pride (pride is after all…one of the seven deadly sins my dear), if you think you are superior to anyone (in your case, black women), and if you do not have any sympathy whatsoever for what certain people are going through, then you sweetheart are no angel. In fact you come nowhere close to even being like Jesus. See I know about white girls like you, because I have to deal with them all the time. You know don’t you love? The ones who get their heads blown up by black males who hate black females, and then they start to believe all the nonsense these damaged black males tell them. These same white girls make it their mission to become God overnight only to cast judgement on the very women who more than likely give birth to the same black men white girls like you Rachel love so much. Also, if any of us were to truly take you serious Rachel you might want to punctuate and appear to appear more educated as you seem to think you are. What’s even worse is that you actually thought your post would upset any black women posting on this blog, but again I do say nice try but your attempt to anger anyone was futile. Really Rachel, get a life, some confidence (so you do not have to talk bad about women who could care less if you lived today or tomorrow), and a little maturity. By maturity I mean you should be woman enough to not even allow your “boyfriend” to talk bad about a whole group of women he has never met. Instead you should tell him his past experiences were just that, and he should be moving on with you. I can tell you this much. Hating me will never make you superior to me, it will never make me hate myself, it will never cause me to buy into the lies white girls like you tell, and it will never and I do mean never cause me to be ashamed for being able to handle more in this world than you probably have experienced in your short time on this earth. I’ll be sending some common sense and intellect your way Rachel. Peace to everyone.
Latisha, I honestly don’t think some who post here will ever get it but I do. I made a comment about self-hate and lack of love in black communities, and yet a lot of people do not seem to believe that those are issues. The black community is in a crisis, because when we stop loving each other and hating ourselves we are only asking for the horrific downfall we see so evident in a lot of communities. I am not at all phazed by the rainbow coalition here, but I am seriously concerned about what ways do we go about uplifiting our communities. Our old tactics are no longer working, and if we do not do something I fear we will truly lose ourselves. I just want to let you know that I love your blog, and I appreciate what you’re doing sista. Keep up the good work, and never lose the honesty or strong opinion. Peace.
Any Black man in my opinion that is dating the type of non-Black woman that you describe, is definitely dating her because of her color, and no other reason. I am a Black male and I would date a woman of my race as well as any other race. I am choosey when it comes to women and therefore she has to meet certain standards. She has to have intelligence, respect her health, and have classl. Most of all I would’nt find a obese cigarettes smoking, drinking, low classs non-Black woman sexualy attractive at all, to my surprise you say many Blackman find many non-black women attractive because of their color; you are probbal;y right. If two people feel comfortable and good when in the company of eachother, I think that they should go for it because it is their lives and they only have one chanmce to live. My last thaught is that God created man and in my opinion it is against god to discriminate against someone or choose someone just because of their color wheather it be Black or white.
The problem with many Black women is that they never understand or are focused on all the wrong things. What makes a women beautiful is not so much how she looks but how she acts (conducts herself) - how a women conducts herself as a women is the most important thing to me; it tells me if I will be able to get along with her. A blackwoman’s beauty inside is what makes you want to be with her. I think that Black women are the best but I find that a lot of Black women are bossy and want to be the man and wont let the Black man be the man. A man should be a man and a women should be a women. Its not the looks its the personality. Other racial groups seem to raise their women in a way that they conduct themselves as women and let a man be a man; those that won’t choose the gay lifestyle and stay away from men completely. Bossey want to be a man black women turn me off completely. Black women that try to look white with the phony hair and other dead things and don’t develope personality or Black beauty turn me off. Blacks woman are to focused on sillyness of hair and nails and not on the most important thing which is personality. Any person wit common with common sense knows that that hair and nails and all that superficial stuff can’t be maintained 24hours a day. Who wants to be with someone who is obnoxious and superficial for example, male or female.
Hello, to everyone! I am a black woman who has been in several interracial relationships. It’s actually my preference. I’ve always loved white and latino men and wanted mixed babies. My mother would prefer that I go with a brotha instead, but has relented to what I want in my life. My experiences with black men aren’t usually good ones. I went on a date with a black guy some years ago. He was rude to the waiter (a fine white guy, I should add) and had an overall bad attitude. I don’t appreciate being talked down to or expected to take all of the garbage that’s thrown at me. And I know that not all black men act in this manner, but most of them do. I don’t want to be with a thug.
I know that I’m a beautiful and black. I’ve accepted that there are people in this world who are so shallow that they only look at the shade of my skin without getting to know me. But then, SO WHAT? If black men don’t want me, who cares? I’ll go buy a puppy to keep me company. You have no idea how much better I’m treated with men outside of my race versus men inside it. And sadly, the difference is a huge one. My boyfriend (and future husband, who is white) dotes on me like no other man I’ve ever met. There are so many men who’s heads turn when a sista walks into a room. It’s undeniable the beauty that we possess. I understand the gist of the initial blog, but you’re missing a fundemental key. Sometimes it takes stepping outside of the box to realize what really makes you happy.
Do any of you truly want to wait till you’re old and wrinkled to finally have a man love, respect you and treat you well. No. But at the same time there are so many black men who haven’t grown up. You can’t make them do it. And if they decide to run off with a white girl, that’s someone you really don’t need to be with. Like I said before, black women are beautiful, and I’ve met a lot of them lately. All different shades, body types and the like. This topic runs so much deeper than who-wants-to-be-with-who and black and white. I know who and what I am. If people don’t like it, screw them. It’s not going to affect me in the slightest. Girls, live to please yourselves and no one else.
Thank you for the opportunity to share my piece. I wish nothing but the best for all of you and I hope you find what you’re looking for!
Angela,
I have read all of your posts on the message board and I must say that you must be a single, miseable, lonely, black woman. I am a white woman with a beautiful bi-racial daughter and a sucessful black man. But did I mention I have not did bad for myself either. I am not tore up ugly either 5′5, 123, college educated. You know what though? All that does not make me better or worse that you. But what does make me better is that I am not a racist, I love to see everyone happy with whoever they want to be with. I usually don’t waste my time reading or replying to this kind of BS, but for once I just wanted to state how I feel. As a WHITE woman in an interracial relationship, I am sick of people saying “I’m not a racist, I have plenty of black/white friends, I just don’t agree with interracial marriage/dating.” SHUT THE FUCK UP! U are a RACIST and just jealous! Either way I am happy with the man that comes home to me everynight and that is all that matters! Good luck Angela, maybe your children will date interracially and make you change your views!
the reason i came on here tonight was bcuz i had a heated convo with my boyfriend who is blk an so am i. about him thinking blk girls are rude an ugly iam his first blk girlfriend ever he has only dated out side the race his whole life iam hurt by the things he has said. an he told me i was the one who made him think different when it came to how he thinks about blk girls i dont care who dates who but iam hurt that he even felt that way one time or another in his life an i just wanted to say that its wrong to see us blk girls that way we did nothing you dont know every single blk person in this world an theres no way in hell you can judge us all off of the few bad apples that you came across
Get serious. Men who date interacially like variety. Variety is the spice of life. Right?
I just don’t understand how a black person could be so shallow as to convince themselves in this day in age that they are pure black. Pure black is far and few in America. The black race is watered down with white genetics. You yourself are probably a descendent of a slave owner. Say what you will. It’s probably true.
America is a huge melting pot. It’s unfortunate that you have already been melted into it and are just too afraid to accept it. Black is beautifull. Especially when it’s mixed with other colors.
Sounds like you just got dumped for a white girl…
There is a lot of arrogance and self appreciation here which detracts from the points in hand. This stems from insecurity which comes from an identitiy crisis. A lot of ‘I’ and ‘my’ which pertains to the false ego.
None of you are this body. You the spirit soul are trapped within your body and base things from your mind and senses, thinking, feeling, willing, according to your ‘conditioning; then rationlising and justifying to feel better and avoid guilt.
At some point your soul will leave this body with which you are too concerned and move to another body, black ,or white, brown , yellow, or even an animals based on yuor actions and state of consciosness at time of death.
Birds of a feather flock together’. Sometimes circumstances are such we meet someone in another flock, fine so be it, ok, no harm done, live peacefully and everyone respect them as the same.
But trophy, fashion, experiment are based on personal weakness. Get to know who you are, your real nature.
Out of all, ‘Brian’ (towards the end) comment had value but was somewhat disregarded by persons to free to express their unqualified opinion based on narrow sheltered lives. Empty vessel makes more noise.
Thankyou for your time, your ever wellwisher
humble suggestion read book ‘Science of self realisation’
I am a black woman and I don’t think I wouldn’t have been so upset with this post if it wasn’t riddled with stereotpyes. I’m sorry, Latasha, but its really hard for me to think you are black with all the ignorance and foolishness, not ot mention self-hate, you spated in your post.
We don’t have long flowing hair? Since when, Exactly? Because growing up I saw black women of all shade with long flowing hair. I also saw trendy and fashion-conscientious black women chop their locks off for various style changes. White, asian and hispanics do the same boo.
Light-skinned with light eyes? Is that the only way that black women can achieve those looks? Tell that to my Nigerian ex with Hazel eyes and milk chocolate tone. Or, the Eithiopians. Now, I’ll give you time to rassle up another superflucous drivel about “black beauty” not being praised. Wait for it….waiting….
Most of the black models in the industry are not African American. They come from various countries that are highly populated with blacks to show the different variations of black beauty. Its usually us Western blacks that are offended by their big noses or dark tone. Not white people. Hell! How many white/ asian/hispanic/middle eastern men have I seen with napptual black women and rich hues? Too many to count. Sista girl with an afro out to here, lil hood mama with the weave. The social and cooperate-ladder climbing black woman with the modelesque figure and luscious big lips. Girl, next thing you’ll be telling me that black men don’t get with black women because they are all too fat and won’t work out and its not fair. You sound just like the men at Tiredblackmen.com.
Face the facts: A lot of black women are single because they choose to be. We DO have attitudes. We DO put ourselves down by settling for babies before marriage, and THEN depending on the guy while he knocks us around in front of our children. We DO make ourselves look unfeminine by hopping up on every media-supported soapbox and acting like donkey’s asses. This isn’t the 1700s. No one snatched Miss New York and forced her to do her shuck n’ jive on VH1. No one makes black women jump up on the screen and have men wipe their vaginal liquids on tv in the Tip Drill video. No one put a gun to your head and insisted to publish this madness for the whole world to see. And then you wonder why men of our own race and other races don’t think we are wortthy of marriage. No one wants to marry an angry, rampant fool.
I’m not exempting black men from their foolishness, they too play A MAJOR part in the protection and love of black women. But, as long as we keep giving Kequan the time or day, turning our backs on Shaniqua instead of helping and harping on BECKY we will never get anywhere. Until black women set standards for themselves and until black women leave their insecurities at the door our men– all 7%– will continue to run away from us.
I hope you take this to heart and stop falling into the trap of the angry black woman. Do you even have someone? Are you in good health and plan to maintain it? Are you handling business on my financial front? You see, girls like you make it hard for women like me. The ones that always spewing off at the mouth everytime she sees and IR relationship. The finger-waving, neck-shaking sista. The bible-thumper with too many demons in her closet. Girl… I go to school with you, live with you, work with you. And you’re the same ones that cry at night or make excuses everytime you see a happy couple of any race.
You need to get it together.
I’m watching one right now of a Nigeria woman and an latin man. She can find a man, but y’all can’t. And yes, she is heavyset, dark and gorgeous while content and FEMININE! Not loud. Not obnoxious. Not unapologetic or remorseful when she is wrong like you are, but feminine and HUMAN. Its okay to be a lady. Its okay to say “I’m sorry,” “I love you”, “without you I feel as if I would die”.
Get a clue pleaase.
And stop spreading the madness about black women not being sexy by putting yourseif and your firends and youranecdotal stories of singlehood. You’re singlehood because you are you. Now change and watch the men run in your direction.
Hi - I am white guy from Uk who has only ever dated black woman and most of em were not dating me for marriage and they were very good lookinig. I have love for my white girls they are many very nice and sexy white girls it just I don’t fancy them. I also have mixed race son who i love very much indeed.
2 things - this blog made me laugh as it kidna funny some of the comments - race is a social construct - A individual can be nice no matter what they look like.
Another thing please keep the hate down the world has enough hate - if you only sleep with black men - thats cool - but hate on everyone else!
Also there are idiots in all races, as well very lovin people.
Much love
Uk male
“I am proud to be black” - I know in the states there is a lot of hate with race and race is or can be very negative to some people.
But don’t blow - don’t you think you should proud of more than just your biological state, i mean don’t get wrong fight against the social forces of hate. but be proud of more than, just what your born with. I am proud to be many things, but race for me is not that important and as such I have many good friends from all walks of life. This means I get a lot of good food and being a single male this helps
Lastly, the only way to beat this economic bred hatred that is in our political systems, and the mis-education of all people of poor backgrounds (I am UK working class male), we need to learn to love each other, that don’t mean you gotta sleep with the whites! Just learn to love your fellow HUMAN being.
learning to love is hard - hate is easy I know I spent to long hating - I hated everyone, black/ white or whatever, why, cos I was stupid and far too angry.
at least now am just stupid…
Anyway give me some feed back and please the pictures - you gonna tell me every black woman looks kriss!!!
………and real beauty will alway show - just like the poster above me!
later
sorry but i don’t think color should matter at all in a relationship what should matter is how you feel about that person and how they feel about you personality should come before looks. you can’t help who you love and you shouldn’t have to. you shouldn’t have to deal with dirty looks. i didn’t realize people still thought like this.
My only opinion after reading all these comments is that I hardly think in the whole scheme of things that it matters to God if we date/court/fall in love and/or marry someone of another race. We are all human, we need to learn to appreciate other people, other ethnicities, other groups in the same manner we want to be appreciated.
I am an African American woman who has dated within and outside of my race, men are men, you simply need to understand them, compliment them and train the how to treat you and you can be successful in love too, no matter what color he happens to be.
I’m a biracial girl.. I consider myself african american. and my boyfriend is white. i dont date him cuz im half white i date him cuz he treats me the way i want to be treated .. i think saying coments like black and white dont belong or like black should date black is quiet racist.
this is pretty closed minded in my opinion. I’m a black man who has had experience in interracial dating of many cultures and as well as dating women in my own culture. To say black main mainly date other cultures because these women have their nails done dress nice etc.. is pretty superficial both ways. the truth as I see in my eyes is we date other races based on how people TREAT you and view you. Now days people all around the WORLD look up to the black man as an example whether it be a good example or a bad example. People from every country imitate the way black men talk act look and treat other people. This being said i think it makes them envy a black man and kind of put them on a higher pedastool. Women of other races will treat the black men better and give in to him more or be more submissive to the black man and his overall/final decision in situations. And on the other hand the black woman will view her black man as a no job havin thug lookin livin with your mama no car, what can you do for me attitiude. UNLESS that black man is completely on his feet and has possesions then that black women will treat him with RESPECT, and to top it off this well off black guy is with a white woman. the black woman gets pissed off and views it as takin all their good men. but what about the man who tried talkin to you in a respectful way last week at the grocery store? well he was in between jobs and his car was broke. little did you know he was a diamond in the ruff who will go on to happiness and riches possibly w/out a black woman because. So to sum it up it seems black women will only give a black man the time of day if he has money in his pocket and women of other races tend to look at a black man for his soul and who he is. So until these certain black women look past riches and look at the soul then we’ll never grow strong as black people. We’ll just have a nation of mixed people who will hopefully grow strong together, and in my opinion that could be better in the long run since its race that divides us all. Also w like variety, w/out variety life is boring. AND btw i would gladly pick that black queen above over those 2 other women. THATS RIDICULOUS!! It seems the writer of this article is the real problem. SERIOUSLY
Your opinion is yours., of course. So let me share mine.
I encourage you to get out more. You are speaking from a personal perspective but on a public forum (internet). Therefore your opinion will always be challenged, right or wrong.
Your opinion is your own but your logic and reasoning concerns me. I will post it in the form of questions.
You show pics of what you desribe as less than desirable white women and beautiful black women. So you mean you have never seen a well adjusted white woman with a black man? You have never seen a less than desirable black women with a black man? In this case, you place the emphasis on outward appearance. Whos standard of beauty are you using? Is it a western notion or an afrocentric notion?
To make it only about outward appearance reveals a narcissistic bent. Many black people assume that when they see a beuatiful black couple that their marriage is great. Take a look at hollywood where they specialize in looking beautiful and look at the divorce rate. I understand we are attracted to outward appearances but everyone knows its whats on the inside that counts.
It just sounds like you are making a lot of assertions based on your limited experience. But they are yours.
I have seen blacks and white on both sides act stupid.
Black women who think that racism is a big problem in this country and are looking for pure black men should marry African men and bring them into this country..that would be additional five million non-whites in this country and would hasten the day when racist whites will become a minority in this country..and racism will start to decline.
This woman speaks of things that I would have loved to have spoken on my self. She is a very strong black woman and states how she feel in dept.I also believe that we have been brianwashed into thinking the worst about of our selves. I have experience first hand of what this hateful mentality has done to black men in my area.
Living in Dallas 3 years has made me sorta dislike black men. All I see are interracial couples every where I go. Walking into a store in front of me was a white chick (not real attractive) her kid (I belive) with her. Walking out was two black men who broke their necks to look at her and seen me but turn their heads.
Another incident accord yesterday. In a walgreens line a hispanic girl stood in front of me and a black male in front of her. He kept looking at her consistanly but then she went to another line near by he looked at her there also . Not attracted to him (he wasn’t my type)I still wanted to see if he would give me the same stares has he did her. Sure nough he look with dispair like I was nothing turned his head purchased his items then left the store. My point is many black men are growing this hate for there own women.
I’ve seen first hand how black men in interracial relationships get treated by these so called “better than black women” white women. My cousin for example: He had a very beautiful, educated black women who took good care of her self and family. He left her for a not so attractive undereducated white female who already had two kids. I would say he treats the white woman better but he beat the crap out of her! And she talks stupid to him all the time. My point is though, black men date outside their race to be with pathetic white women and put up with ignorance from them more than they would tolerate it from their own women.
Another black guy I seen was with a big fat white lady out in public kissing her like he hit the jackpot. To myself I said if that was a black woman wanting the same affection in public he would probably say something like “why is it necessary to show public affection”.
And last but not least. My ex-boyfriends good friend saw me for the first time and said “Wow your beautiful but only if your skin was three shades lighter” and I asked him, “What do you mean by that”? He said “I only date white girls but I wouldnt marry one”. He told me how he takes them all around the world to places like London, Paris, Denmark,etc. Then he went on about how white women are freaks and any thing goes with them beacause they like to have fun. He said he couldn’t deal with black women on that level because “they know what they want”. He mention black women wanting to be in relationships and like to tell you how it is and he didn’t have time for that. He gave these white women all his money, took them on vacations and never mentioned once they where gold diggers. As a matter of fact that very same day he was calling his bank to stop charges on his credit card that where charged by a white woman without his consent. The bank asked him if he wanted to press charges and he said “NO”. I feel if that was a black chick he would have called her every bad name from A-Z then put her in jail.
It’s no problem for a white woman who’s dating a black man to want the finner things in life “she deserves it” but if a black woman want’s the same things she’s a gold digger. It’s okay for a white woman to want her black man to make sure her nails, hair, and wardrobe is up to par but if a black woman wants the same she’s being materalistic. It’s okay for white women to run the household, control the money, leave you stuck with the kids, cheat and still come back to the black man with his arms open wide.
These things only make me feel that black men think of us black women as not deserving of anything but the use of some azz and a wendy’s chees hamburger. But I have pitty for them because they have been whitewashed. No wonder black women die their hair blonde, bleach their skin, and wear long flowing weaves she thinks it will attract her black men but all it does is prove that our way of thinking is a product of what white socitey has implanted.
I could go on but I’m tired and would just like to say that we are “AMERICAN WASHED”.
AHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS POST!!!
“Comment by LeAnne@Hairsmystory.com on December 19, 2007 2:03 pm
I am a black woman and I don’t think I wouldn’t have been so upset with this post if it wasn’t riddled with stereotpyes. I’m sorry, Latasha, but its really hard for me to think you are black with all the ignorance and foolishness, not ot mention self-hate, you spated in your post.
We don’t have long flowing hair? Since when, Exactly? Because growing up I saw black women of all shade with long flowing hair. I also saw trendy and fashion-conscientious black women chop their locks off for various style changes. White, asian and hispanics do the same boo.
Light-skinned with light eyes? Is that the only way that black women can achieve those looks? Tell that to my Nigerian ex with Hazel eyes and milk chocolate tone. Or, the Eithiopians. Now, I’ll give you time to rassle up another superflucous drivel about “black beauty” not being praised. Wait for it….waiting….
Most of the black models in the industry are not African American. They come from various countries that are highly populated with blacks to show the different variations of black beauty. Its usually us Western blacks that are offended by their big noses or dark tone. Not white people. Hell! How many white/ asian/hispanic/middle eastern men have I seen with napptual black women and rich hues? Too many to count. Sista girl with an afro out to here, lil hood mama with the weave. The social and cooperate-ladder climbing black woman with the modelesque figure and luscious big lips. Girl, next thing you’ll be telling me that black men don’t get with black women because they are all too fat and won’t work out and its not fair. You sound just like the men at Tiredblackmen.com.
Face the facts: A lot of black women are single because they choose to be. We DO have attitudes. We DO put ourselves down by settling for babies before marriage, and THEN depending on the guy while he knocks us around in front of our children. We DO make ourselves look unfeminine by hopping up on every media-supported soapbox and acting like donkey’s asses. This isn’t the 1700s. No one snatched Miss New York and forced her to do her shuck n’ jive on VH1. No one makes black women jump up on the screen and have men wipe their vaginal liquids on tv in the Tip Drill video. No one put a gun to your head and insisted to publish this madness for the whole world to see. And then you wonder why men of our own race and other races don’t think we are wortthy of marriage. No one wants to marry an angry, rampant fool.
I’m not exempting black men from their foolishness, they too play A MAJOR part in the protection and love of black women. But, as long as we keep giving Kequan the time or day, turning our backs on Shaniqua instead of helping and harping on BECKY we will never get anywhere. Until black women set standards for themselves and until black women leave their insecurities at the door our men– all 7%– will continue to run away from us.
I hope you take this to heart and stop falling into the trap of the angry black woman. Do you even have someone? Are you in good health and plan to maintain it? Are you handling business on my financial front? You see, girls like you make it hard for women like me. The ones that always spewing off at the mouth everytime she sees and IR relationship. The finger-waving, neck-shaking sista. The bible-thumper with too many demons in her closet. Girl… I go to school with you, live with you, work with you. And you’re the same ones that cry at night or make excuses everytime you see a happy couple of any race.
You need to get it together.
I’m watching one right now of a Nigeria woman and an latin man. She can find a man, but y’all can’t. And yes, she is heavyset, dark and gorgeous while content and FEMININE! Not loud. Not obnoxious. Not unapologetic or remorseful when she is wrong like you are, but feminine and HUMAN. Its okay to be a lady. Its okay to say “I’m sorry,” “I love you”, “without you I feel as if I would die”.
Get a clue pleaase.
And stop spreading the madness about black women not being sexy by putting yourseif and your firends and youranecdotal stories of singlehood. You’re singlehood because you are you. Now change and watch the men run in your direction.”
*checks to see if this woman’s email works*
I have never seen an AA woman so honest and accurate about why so many black women in America are single. You said things various rational black men I know and met discuss amongst ourselves but rarely have the occasion or fortune to explain in mass.
You’ll never get a seat on Oprah’s couch to share your statement and in my opinion that is a shame.
Nevertheless thank you for a most articulate and accurate response.
I don’t understand why anyone cares about skin color. I’m in an interracial relationship right now and I’m in love. Truly in love. People that are saying black guys that pick white girls are bums….not all are. My boyfriend is an excellent student, great man, and all around amazing person. And for myself, I’m absolutely positive that I don’t look like those white girl in those pictures. I mean, if everyone wants to be so stereotypical and close-minded then I guess that’s on you. I just don’t see the point in being so naive about love. Love isn’t about looks or color, love is how a person makes you feel.
see, in speaking for myself, i could care less about who dates who. if blakmen dont find me attractive; then so what, dont care at all. i date whitemen and make no apologies for it at all. blackwomen need to move foward with their own lives and STOP WORRYING ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK! what one thinks of me is NONE OF MY BUSINESS! like i always say…who gives a damn? i do not have issues with who i am or what i look like, because i will pleae ME before i even consider anyone else. not jealous of whitewomen or any other woman out here, and it does not matter to me wheather if anyone believes what i say or not. sounds like some people need to grow up, get a life and get clued in.
What a close minded and sad article. Closing relationship doors just because of race eliminates so many possibilities. I personally like dating interacially because not only do you gain and absorb from that person’s personality, habbits, and way of living but you gain experiences from their race. You’re exposed to different foods, culture, lifestyle. This only strengthens a realationship. How boring it would be if you were both the same.
I believe that this issue should be quite simple if people all acted as respectful, civilized human beings. One merely needs to observe nature and statistical facts in order to form a code of behavior, as interracial sex is concerned. It is fair and respectful to all races for each to adhere to their own in this matter. This rule of thumb affects all races and genders evenly, and disposes of the whole argument; however, this must be too simple. Some people simply aren’t wired up correctly. We have the sexually confused, such as pedifiles and homosexuals, in our midst. The same applies to interracial sex. Animals are able to figure out whom their own kind are (other than those, such as cats and dogs, that have been domesticated and exposed to the sickness of mankind).
Beyond nature, statistical facts of the day may lead to preferences. For instance, it may be easily proven that black males have a tendency tol prey upon desperate women of low self esteem, leaving them with children and fleeing responsibility for them. Certainly it is black men that can’t find a date, not black women, unless all women are very stupid or desperate.